


Is Something Wrong, She Said

by TerataDeVille



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 07:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3200036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerataDeVille/pseuds/TerataDeVille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz is AWOL in the playground, and Skye is sent to find him.  Set after A Hen in the Wolf House.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is Something Wrong, She Said

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I've completed in over ten years AND it's unbetaed, so please be kind. If I don't post it now I never will.

Skye is deep in the belly of the Internet, trying to pry into the lives of Dad’s latest victims and hoping that they’re all horrible people with no families, when her ear-piece beeps a warning. A moment later Coulson is in her ear “Skye, can you find Fitz?  He’s supposed to review the back-chatter scanner with Lance and Bobbi, and he’s late.” 

“Sure thing, DC.”

She’s sure that this is just DC’s way of keeping her busy so she won’t obsess about recent events.  She’d like to be annoyed at the busy-work, but really she’s grateful for the diversion.  She’ll start with the lab – he’s probably just deep into some recovering-genius technical-thinking-loop or something. 

 

\---

 

The lab is mostly empty when she arrives, just Ming and Oded in the corner tinkering with something that looks explosive. Fitz is not on his usual perch, but his machine is on so she jostles the desk to have a quick peek at what he was working on.  _What?  It’s not snooping - she’s been tasked to find him._ The screen wakes up and it’s an article from the _MIT Technology Review._

> _MIT graduate and noted mathematician William Anders who proved_ _Fermat’s Last Theorem in 1992 (widely regarded as one of the as one of the world’s most difficult mathematical problems) speaks here about the future of mathematics and why he worries about the next generation.  Dr. Anders, pictured here with sons Jacob(3) and Aleksander(7) is_ _a recipient of the prestigious Guggenheim Fellowship and currently holds a Royal Society research professorship at Oxford._

The photo shows a giggling toddler piggy-back riding on a slightly rumpled, curly-haired man while a young boy smiles up at them both. It’s a cute picture that makes her heart clench uncomfortably.  He looks like a good father, if a little too old to chasing toddlers around. She thinks _I wonder if those kids know how lucky they are_? Quickly followed by _I hope they never have to find out._   She is grateful when an outside voice derails her thoughts.

“Are you looking for Agent Fitz?” calls out Ming, from her corner of the lab, still intently focused on her work. 

“Yes.  Was he here this morning?” 

“Mmm hmm. He left in a huff about 20 minutes ago. Knocked over his chair even. Oded had to pick it up.” 

 _Well that’s disconcerting._ “Do you know what was wrong?”

“No idea,” interjects Oded, who actually looks at Skye while speaking.  “Who can tell with him?” 

Skye frowns at this.  To her this lab seems a strange and unfriendly place, a collection of brilliant egos jockeying for the best equipment, assistants and face time with DC.  It didn’t used to be like this. When it was just Fitzsimmons in the garage. Meshing perfectly and finishing each other’s thoughts. For the fifth time today she wishes that Simmons were in the playground and not on assignment with Trip.

 

\---

 

After the med pod, when Fitz was finally mobile, he used to wake up in the middle of the night and just start wandering. Some mornings it took hours to find him, which always left Simmons in tears, and since Simmons’ tears are completely unacceptable, Skye rigged Fitz’s watch with a tracking bug. 

For obvious reasons, locking him in the Med Bay was not an option.  

Whispering a silent prayer to the Powers-That-Be that Fitz is wearing his watch, Skye whips out her phone and starts up the tracking app. Bingo!  There he is – in one of the old storage areas on sub-level C. _Awesome_. Now, if only Simmons were here to help talk Fitz down if a talking down is required.  Hmmm - maybe that wouldn’t work anyway.  Those two are not so much with the talking, lately. Skye doesn’t have a handle on how Fitz’s re-wired brain works, and it makes her uncomfortable. But she has a job to do and is on her way.

 

\---

 

Skye follows the pink smiley face. _What? They need all the good cheer they can get_. As she gets closer she can hear Fitz talking to someone, but she can’t hear a reply.  He must be on the phone.  _What is his trick with getting a signal in the bowels of the Playground?_  

“It’s like that bloody freshman lecture all over again, only worse.” 

The timbre of his voice gives Skye pause, like he’s trapping the tears in his throat and they are trying to break free. 

“Remember how he humiliated me then? This? This is _worse_.”

He must be talking to Simmons – she doesn’t want to interrupt.  Or eavesdrop. Or leave Fitz alone when he sounds like that.  So she stands rooted to the spot trying not to listen but listening nonetheless.  

“You didn’t see them, Simmons, how _happy_ they looked.” 

There is silence now.  Simmons must be speaking.  Gentle words to soothe her best friend. 

When he speaks again his voice is quieter, but no less anguished.  

“I used to keep a scrapbook on him. Every news report and magazine article I could find I’d tape into this little book that I kept… that I hid in my closet. I used to imagine…I’d think about… you know… Yes exactly.  I’d meet him one day, after I’d proved myself, and he would… he would… I don’t know, accept me? Respect me? Something.  

“Mum found it when she was helping me to pack for the Academy.  I thought she would be angry, but instead she just looked really sad and told me about how she took me to meet him when I was a baby. Mum thought that even though he didn’t believe…didn’t believe…Yes.  If he just saw how “beautiful” I was, he’d have to believe.  You know how Mum is. 

“So Mum’s checked his schedule; she knows he’s teaching a Philosophy of Mathematics course that’s ending on the hour.   She thinks if she shows up with me, in front of all his students, he’ll talk to her because he won’t want to make a scene."

 

“Yeah I know…that’s how she got in trouble in the first place."

  

“About what you’d expect.  She presents me.  I take one look at him and start wailing – like really screaming. He says to her, calm as you please, ‘Madam, this is a university.  Kindly remove your screaming progeny from the premises.’

“And Mum, ever…ever…Mum says, ‘But he’s yours.’ 

“He looks at me then, really looks down his nose at me, and says to Mum, “Madam, I assure you that the Anders’ genes did not produce that stunted, squalling, urchin.  I understand that things have been difficult for you, but if you don’t leave now and of your own devices, I shall have to call security.” 

 

“So she tells me this story to warn me, see? But I’m a dumb kid, so I take it to mean that I have to prove myself…prove myself….  So that’s what I do.  I show up at that lecture with my fuckin’ CV, and when I finally get my minute alone with him…I…I…I   _present_ myself.   And he looks at me, I mean he looks right through me and he…and he… just says “That’s very nice, but my… but my…Simmons…help me here…yes…must be exceptional, and I’m afraid you’re not.”  And he turns to shake hands with Dr. Galdikas, and I never see him again.”  

 

“Yes you did.  I mean the other you, her, Jemma did.  She proved it.  Hairs on his blazer. Didn’t matter. No one cares.” 

There is a long pause now.  And Skye’s legs and back have begun to ache because she’s holding so very still. 

“And somehow that fuckin’ article still hurts. _That photo._   How can I still feel this way?  Can you imagine if he saw me now, what he’d think?  What he’d think of me now?” 

And then there are no more words. Just what sounds like a grown man imploding. And before she realizes what she’s doing, Skye is moving toward the sound and calling out, “Fitz, Coulson’s looking for you.”  Her voice sounds funny even to her, and she knows her face must be splotchy and her eyes shining but what can she do?  He can’t be alone right now, and Simmons on the phone is not going to be enough. 

She sees that the room is a forgotten repair room of sorts. The shelves are dusty, the lighting dim, and all around are abandoned, outdated and mostly broken inventions.

Fitz is bent over a table, arms outstretched in front of him, hands clenched tightly.  He is shaking.  

She approaches him slowly, not sure what to say, and so says the truth.  She says, “Coulson sent me to find you because he’s trying to distract me from all the shit with my dad. Because I’ve been finding it really hard to reconcile my feelings.  My whole life I’ve wanted to find my parents, understand why they abandoned me. Find out if they loved me. And now I know who my father is, and that he does love me in his own fucked up way, and that’s somehow worse than if he didn’t care at all.  And it hurts, and I think I really need a hug and good cry.  And it’s just you and me down here.  

“So, do you think you can help a girl out?” 

And she opens her arms to him. 

Fitz raises his head then, and he looks at her, and she can see that the gentlest of touches might shatter him, so she doesn’t move. She doesn’t even breathe. She waits.

And slowly, ever so slowly, he steps toward her. And then into her arms. And she carefully wraps around him and he around her, and for a few precious moments everything else falls away.


End file.
